my new song: american 'tard

uh, y'know, the sounds that sound good together... sometimes... and sometimes sounds like the disgusting "squish squish" sound Slicker's mom makes whenever she walks

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Zaphod
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my new song: american 'tard

Postby Zaphod » Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:52 pm

a long, long time ago
i can still remember
how those retards used to make me smile
and i knew that if i had my chance
that i could make those retards dance
and maybe they'd be happy little retards

but february made me shiver
with every retard i delivered
retards on the porch step
i couldn't take one more 'tard
i can't remember if i cried
when i wed about his retard bride
but something touched me deep inside
the day the retard died

so bye bye american retard
drove the retard to the levy and the retard said, "YAY!"
them good old 'tards were drinking whiskey and rye
singing, "dar dee dar dar dar, duuuuuh"

did you write the retard book
and do you believe that god's a retard
if the retards tell you so
now do you believe in retard rock
can retards save your mortal soul
and can you teach a retard to dance real slow?

well i know you're in love with a retard
'cause i saw you with the retard in the gym
you kicked off your shoes
and he took off his helmet
i was a lonely teenage masturbator
with a pink carnation and a crate of retards
but i knew i was out of luck
the day the retard died


bye bye american retard
drove the retard to the levy and the retard said, "YAY!"
them good old 'tards were drinking whiskey and rye
singing, "dar dee dar dar dar, duuuuuh"

now for ten years the retard's been on his own
he still can't take a dump in the throne
but that's not how it used to be
when the retard sang for the king and queen
in a coat he borrowed from another retard
and a voice that said "duh" a lot
and while the king was looking down
the retard stole his bicycle helmet
the courtroom was adjourned
no retards were returned
while the retards read a book of marx
the retard sang "DAAAAAR" in the dark
the day the retards died

they were singing bye bye american retard
drove the retard to the levy and the retard said, "YAY!"
them good old 'tards were drinking whiskey and rye
singing, "dar dee dar dar dar, duuuuuh"

hetard retard in a summer swetard

ah, fuck it, i'm sick of this shit. i just wanted to get to the good part in the last verse, where it goes:

i met a retard who sang the blues
and i asked her for some happy news
she just smiled and threw feces
i went down to the retard store
where i'd heard the retards years before
but the man there said the retards wouldn't play
and in the streets, the retards screamed
the children cried, and the retards dreamed
but not a word was spoken
they were dreaming of helmets broken
and the retards i admire most
the retard son and the retard ghost
they took the retards to the coast
the day the retards died

fuck it, give me my fucking grammy. it's better than justin bieber.

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anarky
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Re: my new song: american 'tard

Postby anarky » Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:15 pm

Your second grade teacher called. She said you're due back from lunch because the class is fingerpainting today.
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: my new song: american 'tard

Postby Rollo Tomassi » Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:39 pm

American Pie by Don Maclean is my favorite song of all time.

You're a fucking asshole, Zaphod.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie

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anarky
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Re: my new song: american 'tard

Postby anarky » Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:44 pm

Then you should know there's no "a" in Don McLean. Well, not two, at any rate.
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

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Rollo Tomassi
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Re: my new song: american 'tard

Postby Rollo Tomassi » Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:56 pm

I blame that on my iPhones autocorrect. You wouldn't believe how much writing I have to "uncorrect" when I'm typing.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie

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anarky
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Posts: 17248
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: my new song: american 'tard

Postby anarky » Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:18 pm

Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

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Rollo Tomassi
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 3000
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: In a Long Box, bagged and boarded

Re: my new song: american 'tard

Postby Rollo Tomassi » Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:59 pm

Yeah that's about the size of it. Especially autocorrecting profanity.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie


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