Unidentified man praises large-rumped women!!

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Unidentified man praises large-rumped women!!

Postby Newsbot » Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:30 am

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A mysterious African-American man appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at the second annual International Day of Fat Chick Appreciation rally in Seattle, to wax poetic about the virtues of women with large butts.

Speaking on behalf of what he described as "the average black man," the mystery man began with the simple affirmation, "I like big butts and I cannot lie." This began what has been hailed by some as the single greatest work of lyrical praise for inner beauty in modern history.

The mysterious man compared large-assed women favorably in comparison to the famous workout maven Jane Fonda, stating that "Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda" and that his "anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon." He then went on to say that large posteriors were so extraordinary that "even white boys got to shout" about them.

He offered to take photos of any woman with a large rump, as he claimed to be hooked and unable to stop staring. In addition, he decried the rampant negative portrayals of women in music videos and in fashion magazines.

The entire tribute seemingly began in defense of a large-rumped woman after one audience member complained to a friend, identified only as Becky, that said large woman was likely involved romantically with an unknown rap musician, who likely only dated her because of her resemblance to a prostitute. The mysterious figure was especially cognizant of the beauty of an "LA face with an Oakland booty," and sought to educate those who make such ignorant comments.

Seattle's mayor Kurt Starbuck said this impromptu performance was the greatest thing to happen to Seattle since the invention of flannel. Though the man has yet to be identified, he did leave viewers with a number where he could be reached. However, it is a 1-900 number, and vynsane.com's news department is too cheap to call toll lines.
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Re: Unidentified man praises large-rumped women!!

Postby kidhuman » Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:38 pm

A mysterious African-American man appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at the second annual International Day of Fat Chick Appreciation rally in Seattle, to wax poetic about the virtues of women with large butts.



In other news, water is wet......
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Re: Unidentified man praises large-rumped women!!

Postby anarky » Sun Sep 02, 2018 3:49 pm

Whatever happened to Newsbot?
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*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!


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