Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Moderators: Batman, Zero, John Madden, Bob Ross, General Zod, Richard Simmons

User avatar
Newsbot
Official anchor of the vynsane 5 o'clock news
Posts: 941
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:10 pm
Location: www.vynsane.com
Contact:

Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Newsbot » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:38 pm

Code: Select all

ASHLAND, Ore. - A woman seen frequently in Ashland riding topless on her bicycle says she plans to be in Ashland's Fourth of July parade free and independent of all clothing but a hemp G-string. The Chamber of Commerce says that's contrary to the rules for the family celebration. She says she'll sue if she can't parade as she wishes.
 
Jen Moss has been known as "The Naked Lady" since she moved to Ashland in May from Ojai, Calif., drawn by the town's nudity laws. They specify only that people must cover their genitalia in a city park or the downtown commercial district, which means Moss need not cover her breasts.

The police in California, she says, harassed her when she rode her bicycle wearing a G-string and pasties.

Moss applied for an entry for the parade, which draws thousands each year.

The Ashland Chamber of Commerce learned of her coverage plans from an online posting. She promised to lead in-line skaters "wearing only a hemp G-string and blowing a conch shell."

"We don't feel that someone in the parade who is topless or nearly naked is appropriate for a family audience," said parade chairman James Kidd.

He said a letter was sent to Moss on Monday and wouldn't speak specifically about the chamber's position until he was certain that she had received the letter.

Kidd did say that parade rules clearly indicate that entries must be appropriate for a family audience. He also said he understood that the Ashland city ordinance allows women to be topless.

"She's welcome on any other day of the year to do that," he said. "But not on the Fourth of July while in the parade."

City Council member Eric Navickas said he's on Moss's side.

If she can't be in the parade, Navickas said, it would be "an interesting commentary on our society that we're willing to tolerate dead bodies through our aggressive foreign policy from the war, but not healthy, naked bodies."

Moss told the Ashland Daily Tidings in an e-mail that if she can't be nearly naked in the parade, she would "run around near naked protesting their unconstitutional(ism) and un-Americanism." And she said, she would ask the American Civil Liberties Union for help in a lawsuit.

While this reporter hasn't seen a picture of Ms. Moss, I feel it is safe to say that she must be butt-ugly if the Chamber of Commerce is trying to stop her from being naked.
Putting the broad back into broadcasting.

User avatar
Rollo Tomassi
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 3000
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: In a Long Box, bagged and boarded

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Rollo Tomassi » Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:20 pm

You be the judge, vynsaniacs.

Image
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie

User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 17135
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby anarky » Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:57 am

To be so open and free and all that, she seems to have a thing against showing her nipplage, so I cannot accurately assess. I also note she has tan lines, implying she wears a top when tanning.
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

User avatar
vynsane
master of the universe
Posts: 5920
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 11:16 pm
Location: in my quiet place, punch-dancing out my rage
Contact:

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby vynsane » Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:18 pm

there's video of her out there totally topless. i'd find it now but i'm at work, and they frown on that sort of thing. repeatedly.
Life is short. STUNT IT!

User avatar
Ran
(includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
Posts: 8040
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
Location: barking up the wrong tree
Contact:

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Ran » Thu Nov 13, 2008 12:39 pm

anarky wrote:To be so open and free and all that, she seems to have a thing against showing her nipplage, so I cannot accurately assess. I also note she has tan lines, implying she wears a top when tanning.


I was going to suggest that you, Rollo, and I make a road trip up to Oregon for the 4th of July to check it out, but it would probably be easier if we just went to a strip club. I'll bring you a bottle of Malibu.

User avatar
Diabolical
John Kalodner: John Kalodner
Posts: 6458
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:40 pm
Location: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Diabolical » Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:22 pm

Rogue II wrote:I was going to suggest that you, Rollo, and I make a road trip up to Oregon for the 4th of July to check it out, but it would probably be easier if we just went to a strip club. I'll bring you a bottle of Malibu.
And the plus side would be seeing a topless chick that probably wouldn't be confused with Eric Stotlz.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
Image
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.

User avatar
Slicker
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 2126
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:06 am
Location: I just need a sammich
Contact:

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Slicker » Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:31 pm

I'd still hit it though...

And why is it that we're finally now having a conversation about this 5 months after the fact?
Sweet berry wine!

User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 17135
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby anarky » Thu Nov 13, 2008 3:28 pm

Because she's topless.
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

User avatar
Rollo Tomassi
I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Posts: 3000
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: In a Long Box, bagged and boarded

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Rollo Tomassi » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:08 pm

Slicker wrote:I'd still hit it though...

And why is it that we're finally now having a conversation about this 5 months after the fact?


1. It was an unanswered post.
2. Newsbot concluded she was fugly.
3. This is the internet. Search engines are easy to use
4. It was a slow work day
5. As anarky pointed out, she's topless
6. This is vynsane.com

You do the math.
"Say Jim! Whoo! That is a bad outfit! Whoooo!" -- Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." -- Megatron, Transformers:The Movie

User avatar
Double_G
megatron
Posts: 1463
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2007 7:28 pm
Location: Whore Island

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Double_G » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:42 pm

Diabolical wrote:And the plus side would be seeing a topless chick that probably wouldn't be confused with Eric Stotlz.

Eric Stoltz in "Mask" or regular Eric Stoltz? Because that chick does have a Rocky Dennis sized noggin.
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

User avatar
Diabolical
John Kalodner: John Kalodner
Posts: 6458
Joined: Mon Jul 11, 2005 8:40 pm
Location: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Diabolical » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:44 pm

Double_G wrote:
Diabolical wrote:And the plus side would be seeing a topless chick that probably wouldn't be confused with Eric Stotlz.

Eric Stoltz in "Mask" or regular Eric Stoltz? Because that chick does have a Rocky Dennis sized noggin.
I was going for the Mask version of Stoltz.
"As they say in China, 'Arrivederci'!"
Image
*For the creation of the Golden Deuce Award.

User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 17135
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby anarky » Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:03 pm

I'd like to remind you: topless.
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

User avatar
Zaphod
knightrider
Posts: 298
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:56 pm
Location: CHESTER A. ARTHUR'S WIFE'S VAGINA... WITH THE VINEGAR, BABY!

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Zaphod » Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:29 pm

i searched for her and she's a treehugger. nothing wrong with that. but she needs to eat meat. lots of it. she needs to fill out. those little second grade titties are too small for me to put my head in between and make funny noises.

User avatar
The Congregation
bacon
Posts: 30
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:11 pm

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby The Congregation » Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:47 am

anarky wrote:I'd like to remind you: topless.


AMEN!!!

User avatar
Ran
(includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
Posts: 8040
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:46 pm
Location: barking up the wrong tree
Contact:

Re: Oregon woman plans to parade topless on July 4

Postby Ran » Fri Nov 14, 2008 1:07 am

Rogue II wrote:
anarky wrote:To be so open and free and all that, she seems to have a thing against showing her nipplage, so I cannot accurately assess. I also note she has tan lines, implying she wears a top when tanning.


I was going to suggest that you, Rollo, and I make a road trip up to Oregon for the 4th of July to check it out, but it would probably be easier if we just went to a strip club. I'll bring you a bottle of Malibu.


Oops! I'd like to apologize for not inviting Seven on our adventure.


Return to “announcements”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron