Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Moderators: Batman, Zero, John Madden, Bob Ross, General Zod, Richard Simmons

User avatar
Newsbot
Official anchor of the vynsane 5 o'clock news
Posts: 941
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:10 pm
Location: www.vynsane.com
Contact:

Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby Newsbot » Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:29 pm

Doctors have to tread a fine line when it comes to blogging about their strangest, craziest or most impressive cases. On the one hand, there’s definite public interest in unusual medical maladies. On the other hand, this activity raises enormous ethical concerns about doctor-patient confidentiality. But on the other other hand (that’s the third hand for those keeping count), don’t people already know better than to stick live creatures into their orifices?

It’s not like there aren't myriad examples of these emergency room horrors. And yet one doctor in China, who just couldn't help herself from detailing it on her blog, recently treated a patient who ruptured his colon… by sticking an eel up his butt.

Now that you've started to process that sequence of horrifying images, let’s get into even more detail. According to Rocket News 24, the 39-year-old man had a little too much to drink and decided it would be a great time to acquaint his rectum with a 20-inch swamp eel. Apparently, the eel and the rectum had been exchanging flirty emails on a dating site called “Worst Ideas Ever” decided to elevate things to the meeting-in-person stage.

No, that’s not how it happened. It happened because substance abuse and human folly are the mechanism behind roughly 80 per cent of the stories we cover on Buzz.
ER surgeons managed to extract the eel and save the man’s life, but not before the slithery fish ate a hole through one of his internal organs and burrowed its way into his gut.

The man will be alright, but he will never win another argument in his life, because each time he brings up a valid point, anyone can just say, “Yeah, but one time you stuck a swamp eel up your rectum.”

And the doctor now has a viral blog post.
Putting the broad back into broadcasting.

User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 17135
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby anarky » Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:53 pm

Oh no! Is this why we haven't seen Stinky Chinky around?
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

User avatar
anarky
sometimes not actually existing
Posts: 17135
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 4:50 pm
Location: Fucking shit up, yo!

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby anarky » Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:54 pm

(And someone who's unfamiliar with this site will see my previous post, not know Stinky Chinky was one of the bizarre characters who used to post constantly, and think I'M the racist bastard.)
Image
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!

User avatar
jjreason
(includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
Posts: 7221
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2002 1:14 am
Location: Out there somewhere.

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby jjreason » Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:27 am

Sure he was. *shakes head disapprovingly*
Image
Catchiest Catch Phrase 2008

Pork Cutlet! Pork Cutlet will know.... the truuuuuth......

User avatar
Negative Boy
knightrider
Posts: 358
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 8:21 pm
Contact:

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby Negative Boy » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:52 pm

anarky wrote:Oh no! Is this why we haven't seen Stinky Chinky around?

Wow. You're a racist asshole.


The proper term is Oriental. Don't YOU feel like the schmuck?
GOD! That is so STUPID!! You are WRONG!!

Eternal Padawan is DEAD!! Fuck yeah!

User avatar
vynsane
master of the universe
Posts: 5920
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 11:16 pm
Location: in my quiet place, punch-dancing out my rage
Contact:

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby vynsane » Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:43 pm

the funniest thing is 'stinky chinky' wasn't even a character, he was an actual dude i used to work with at pottery barn, and he WAS chinese.

EDIT: or maybe i'm confused... because i just looked up that username and the email address is an obvious star wars geek reference, and i don't remember that dude being into SW...
Life is short. STUNT IT!

User avatar
Zero
the ALL NEW moderator terror squad
Posts: 741
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 6:22 pm
Location: Nowhere
Contact:

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby Zero » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:46 pm

STINKY'S IP REVEALED THE CULPRIT

AND COMPLETELY UNRELATED, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ANTROPOV?
ONE OF YOU BUTTHOLE DIDDLERS TRIED FONDLING HIS POOP CHUTE AND SCARED HIM OFF?

NO HANDLEBARS HAN SHOT. FIRST! PERIOD.
NO HANDLEBARS MORE COWBELL!
NO HANDLEBARS GO FUCK YOURSELF™

User avatar
Zaphod
knightrider
Posts: 298
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:56 pm
Location: CHESTER A. ARTHUR'S WIFE'S VAGINA... WITH THE VINEGAR, BABY!

Re: Stuck eel removed from drunk Chinese man

Postby Zaphod » Sat May 04, 2013 12:11 am

racist bastard.


Return to “announcements”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest