These aren't much of a problem anymore, as I primarily use my cell 97% of the time (which they can't call. Hurrah!) and screening/ignoring my home phone the other three percent.
But today I picked up and some Pakistani Indian or something was trying to scare me with Identity Theft before I cut him off with my deadpan serious explanation that I was a button man for the mafia and if anyone was stupid enough to try and steal my identity, they would be killed.
That earned me a nervous chuckle and an awkward silence. Ha ha. That's what you get for harrassing me, fucker...
"Say Jim! WHOOOO! That is a bad outFIT! Whooo!"--Pimp, Superman The Movie
"You're an idiot, Starscream." --Megatron,Transformers: The Movie