So, a few nights ago, I started experiencing some moderate, but definitely noticeable, chest pains. Since my cholesterol's been a bit high the last few years (and I suck at eating right), my brother had a heart attack in junior high, my mom has had minor heart issues her entire life, and my maternal grandmother died of a series of massive heart attacks over several years, needless to say I was scared shitless.
Then I moved a little bit. And heard a rumbling noise, and the pressure moved from my chest to my abdomen.
Yup, I've had some massive gas issues the last few days. At times, it moves into the area where I know my heart must be unless something inside is jacked up, at times to my left side underneath the ribcage, but mostly in my gut. Gas medicine helps short term, but it's always been coming back. So I've been in not exactly excruciating pain for almost four days now, but it's pretty damned close to constant (just not in the same place). Even though I know it's gas, it still scares the shit out of me when it's in the region of my heart or lungs.
I can't figure out what the hell is causing it. I eat pretty spicy foods most of the time, but nothing out of the ordinary lately, and have toned it down quite a bit since this started. (Pizza tonight is the most adventurous I've been.) I'm burping and farting more than normal, but not enough to entirely deal with the pressure.
Of course, the internet's no help. I either have terminal cancer, am already dead of a heart attack, or I have developed an allergy to gluten and lactose overnight. (In which case the pizza is a really, really bad idea.) Mrs A wants me to call the doctor, and it's not that I'm not; I'm just not sure at what point I say, "This has gone on long enough to be an issue." (I had some sort of horrible gut infection a few years ago and was literally shitting bananas, chewed but undigested, within five minutes of eating them, but it cleared up on its own before I could get an appointment, and I suspect this is something similar.)
So, yeah, just bitching. I know my problems aren't the biggest, but it's still frigging unpleasant.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!