The town I'm in has an insane post office.
For starters, they don't honor vacation holds. I put one in over the summer for a week. The day we left, the postman (not the normal one) came to the door and said, "I know you've got a vacation hold, but I saw you here and thought you might want it today, since there's a package." Which is hella cool. He didn't have to do that; our box is two blocks from our house.
We came back on Sunday, and there was mail in the box. A lot of mail. WTF? Including two notes from the post office that were clearly for internal use only, stating we had a hold! Another expected package was not there, though. I went in Monday to pick up our mail, and there was nothing. "The postman will be delivering it today."
"What do you mean? I clearly marked I was going to pick it up when I got back."
"Well, we don't always do things the way other post offices do." No shit, she said that to me!
"So, is there a way you can tell me how else you don't do things the same way, so I don't have to stand in line for half an hour for absolutely nothing again?"
So, the box didn't arrive. I pulled up the tracking info, and it said it was delivered the previous WEDNESDAY! I called the post office the next day, and it seems that, here in Stupidtown, at least, if you get a package with tracking info while on vacation, the postman marks it delivered, and then holds onto it until he can get a chance to put it on his truck! WTF squared? It came two days later.
I also once received a letter. The company that sent it sent two copies, one regular mail and one certified. They came from one city over. I received the one that was sent regular mail about a day after it was sent. Two full months later, I received a notice that I had certified mail I had to pick up, and it was the final notice. So I go in, not knowing what the hell this is, and it's another copy of the letter I'd gotten.
I came home and pulled up the tracking info. No shit, it got here the next day. Then there's a 5-week gap in the tracking info. Then a couple of "notice left" messages spread out over the next two weeks. Uh, yeah, assholes, don't you think you should actually leave the notice, since I can't read your retarded mental notes!
Yeah, mailman, don't expect no fucking tip. If I didn't think you'd start wiping my mail on your ass, and if I weren't dependent on mail order for a lot of things, I'd go to your house (yeah, I know where it is, and I find it creepy and unethical that you live in the neighborhood) and shit on your porch.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!