What's up with the pathetic remakes of shit

movies are cool. here is a place to talk about how cool they are. or maybe how much they suck, sometimes. like that fucking piece of shit 'mac and me'. worst fucking movie ever, a two-hour ad for fucking coca-cola.

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What's up with the pathetic remakes of shit

Postby jdr3 » Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:42 am

So I was checking out trailers on the apple quicktime site and i just wanna know why would they ruin "Bewitched". The show was great. I grew up on it. But now Nora Ephron has to go and ruin it. Will Farrel or not, it just ruins the great memories that I had of watching the show (in reruns, but still watching it) Then...not only do they destroy that fond memory, then they go on to fuck up Herbie by putting lindsay lohan in it, and what the fuck is Michael Keaton doing in it. Come on, Michael, have some dignity. Cedric the Entertainer (who I can't stand, and really hate is "name") is ruining "The Honeymooners". I'm going to make an all white cast movie of "The Jeffersons" or better yet, the cosby show. fuck both of 'em. Why not?

Argh....no wonder I don't pay to go to the theatre any more and rip DVDs. This shit ain't worth paying for

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Postby jjreason » Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:59 am

There are obviously no good ideas left, artistically speaking - music, movies and tv are becoming increasingly repetitive and boring as I get older...... or is it me getting older that creates my feelings of boredom with these artforms??????? Either way, Cedric the Entertainer in the Honeymooners? That's this week's sign that the apocalypse is upon us for sure.

And while I'm bitching, how about "shot for shot" remakes of horror movies? Was "The Amityville" horror anything more than a shitty b-movie that crossed over somehow? How could a remake ever be anything but terrible? Who's in charge of approving these fucking projects? Think of what the 100 million dollars they spend on these fucking disasters could do in the hands of independent filmmakers - no don't, that's WAY to upsetting and depressing for this early in the morning.

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Postby anarky » Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:04 pm

Yeah, it's a horrible idea. Like the new Dukes of Hazzard. What bullshit! The only plus is that Willie Nelson is re-recording the theme. Willie Nelson rules.

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Postby vynsane » Fri Apr 29, 2005 5:27 pm

willie is doing the theme song??? that's awesome. and as much as i love the dukes of hazzard, i've gotta say that i don't want the movie... although seeing some cool jumps with an orange '69 dodge charger is tempting. i'll probably rent it.

the amityville horrific remake, as well as the texas chainsaw disaster were both micheal bay's "brilliant" idea. this guy has to die.

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Postby Snigtad Flornbi » Fri Apr 29, 2005 6:39 pm

Wasnt Michael Baye in that old time band Genesis?

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Postby jjreason » Sat Apr 30, 2005 3:29 am

She's got to have that invisible touch, yeah!
She's got to have that invisible.... oh oh oh.

She's got to have that invisible touch, yeah!
She's got to have that invisible.... oh oh ooooh.

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Postby remainsafetus » Sun May 01, 2005 8:14 pm

Ugh! The only thing I hate more than all these remakes is the Star Wars prequels. As a guy in the industry, I know full well that Hollywood HAS run out of ideas. It's all a guy can do to haul lighting equipment back and forth and keep from tearing his hair out at the roots when he sees something like these hacks stealing something from 30 years ago and trying to turn a quick buck by re-hashing it with "actors" who dont' even fit the part!!!

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Postby jjreason » Sun May 01, 2005 11:57 pm

RAF, have we even delved into WHY you hate them so much? Is it because they're 2hr toy ads, have inane dialogue, play ineptly at political intrigue, don't even make an effort to surprise anyone with any plot twists, because they rely to heavily on CG or because the director is to preoccupied with what's going on in the sound mixing room to bother with trying to draw any real "acting" out of his actors?

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Postby jdr3 » Mon May 02, 2005 9:39 am

Actually, as one in the sound mix, they don't care what is going on in the sound mix. Most of the time they don't even listen, they are too busy talking on the phone telling people that they are a director. That's probably what happens on set that makes them too busy to "direct" their actors is that they are on the cellphone telling people how busy they are "directing" their latest big feature that is over budget even though it shouldn't have been given a budget in the first place.

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Postby mabudon » Wed May 04, 2005 7:05 pm

How bout the big-screen "Bionic Man" done starring Jim Carrey, and as a comedy??? Sounds like a good candidate for a "remake of shit" award

there's another log coming down the pipe soon but I can't for the life of me recall it... not in this thread so dar, though, whatever it is

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Postby slothmania » Tue May 17, 2005 5:04 pm

i think movies are a waste of time
unless of course they are starwars or napoleon dynamite.

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Postby jjreason » Tue May 17, 2005 10:38 pm

"The Longest Yard" might be the fecal matter your brain was trying to recall, Mabs. Adam Sandler and Chris Rock are both signed on. Horrifying. But I continue to remember what Eddie Murphy said on a talk show about movies one time: "Eddie, did you get our script?" - "Yeah, that was TERRIBLE..... Oh, you're paying that much money? When do we start??????????????"

It's so evident that's where the rubber meets the road these days in Hollywood. The saddest part is this: the only reason they make those movies is because idiots by the millions will spend their $10 to see Will Ferrell wipe his ass, let alone do anything funny. Fuck I hate people.

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Postby mabudon » Wed May 18, 2005 7:45 am

Oooohhhh "longest yard" has been getting a bit of airtime lately, seeing sandler act "normal" and "cool" is almost worse than seeing his shabby, unfunny comedy, somehow

Funny enough, that wasn't the one I was thinking about even though, it was something worse which I seem to be able to erase completely from my mind (a good thing no doubt)

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Postby kidhuman » Fri May 20, 2005 11:34 am

Some movies warrant remakes such as Willie Wonka. The rest are just tubs of shit bigger than the 10 dollar tub of popcorn you buy to watch the tubs of shit.

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Postby The Ghost of Lemmys Warts » Fri May 27, 2005 8:49 pm

Was it The Wicker Man? That's got a remake with Nick Cage starring. Fuck Cage and all the others responsible for trying to remake perfection.


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